My Mourning Routine: All Things Grief, Growth and Gratitude
by Lauren Samay
December 8, 2022
Welcome to the very first episode of My Mourning Routine: All things Grief, Growth, and Gratitude! I’m excited to share this time with you; thank you for being here!
Mourning, Grief, Growth, and Gratitude.
Let’s think about those words:
Mourning is the outward expression of loss.
Grief is the deep sorrow felt after loss.
Growth is a natural development, an expansion and ripening of self.
Gratitude is the quality and state of being thankful.
So, why do I want to make a podcast about mourning and grief and growth and gratitude?
Because, I have been in the debilitating depths of grief.
In December 2015, I fulfilled the Highest Honor of my existence: the painfully beautiful privilege of caring for my mother in the last week of her life! She was able to make it home— to her own house, where my sisters and I cared for her until her last, sacred breath. We were able to return the patient, attentive Love to her that she gave to us!
It was the hardest, most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. It’s now been almost seven years since she died and I am still finding ways to mourn the grief that bubbles up, as well as ways to celebrate her!
There are moments when you think that you cannot get out of what feels like an inescapable torturous, agonizing pit. I am living proof that you can! It’s not overnight. It takes work and fortitude, but it is possible and I do profoundly believe in the transformational, TRANSMUTATIONAL power of grief.
When we think of grief, it is often associated with the death of a dear one. But the truth is, we face changes that may require our mournful acknowledgment daily. The pandemic alone that we’ve been navigating has been a Pandemic of Grief: lost lives, lost jobs, lost relationships, lost identities, lost senses of safety and freedom… the list goes on and will continue for as long as we’re alive.
However, with each loss comes the opportunity to Honor, to Remember, to give Gratitude for what once was, to lean into emotions that arise— we have them for a reason, to see how we were affected by that person/pet/role/moment… what new season this passing may bring, and how we can move forward, our lives that more rich with the awareness of all that we’ve experienced and the beautiful dance of impermanence that we have on and with this earth, and the lessons that remain, if we’re open and willing to see them.
I have found that there is opportunity for growth through these lessons, which often come in extreme and turbulent times, and I have tremendous gratitude for everything in between. Gratitude for having loved someone so greatly that the grief felt in the wake of their death can be so strong. Gratitude for this growth that happens in navigating seasons of life. Gratitude for the simple things. Gratitude for waking up in the morning. The velvety foam on my latte. Gratitude for having a roof over my head and options of delicious foods to eat to nourish my body as I tend to my soul. Gratitude for support systems: friends, family, coaches, mentors, strangers. A kind smile or word. Gratitude for the sun shining. For another opportunity to try, to love, to smile again. Life is full of grief. It is full of loss, it will always be. We are mortal beings and there are so many different changes, every single day in our lives that we need to acknowledge, celebrate, grieve, and also give gratitude for. For these little things shape us and make our days and make our lives. And I strongly believe that gratitude is the attitude. With a thankful heart, you can feel so much, achieve so much, you can love so much. It just makes life fuller. So, this podcast is for all of us, for all of YOU that want to see the beauty in the world, while acknowledging the pain that you are currently in, that you are working through, that you’ve gone through. Grief doesn’t quite end, it just transforms. It’s something that you don’t “get over”; it’s something that you learn to live WITH. And by embracing grief, by leaning into grief, and allowing ourselves to FEEL our feelings, see our feelings, name our feelings, and release the built up pressure of otherwise unrealized emotions, all while choosing to be grateful for how far we’ve come and for embracing our EXPERIENCE, in it’s vast multitude of highs and lows— only then can we live our lives to the fullest potential that we are here to express.
I am tremendously fortunate to have had such a kind, present mother. Her love, and her death, shaped me into who I am today. The tremendous grief that I experienced the first few years after she died is a huge part of what led me to coaching and the desire to support others facing grief and life’s great transitions.
Just as grief is an unpredictable roller coaster of emotion, so too is our mourning routine. A bit paradoxical to the word “routine”, there are no timelines to follow. There’s no true predictability in it. And that’s okay. And normal. This is where it is important to let those moments, those waves of emotion that come unexpectedly— and are completely natural and unique to your experience—flow. Let them flow. Feel your feelings. Let them out. Know that you are the valuable constant and feelings are the weather. Your journey, your experience of life— and grief, is completely unique to you, your relationship with whatever loss you are facing is completely unique to you. My hope is that, through this podcast, we all can feel a little more prepared for Life’s storms, prepared meaning more aware that the waves will indeed be unpredictable, and that you can find support and maybe even take comfort in knowing that others— remembering that others— are going through challenges, too, maybe even similar to something you’ve experienced, as I and future guests will elucidate. My hope is that you will know that the sun will ALWAYS be shining for you, that you’re strength is greater than you may know, and that you can move forward in grief, and with grief, while being gentle on yourself, lovingly, and with rich awareness of your precious, radiant life.
Thank you for Being here, with me. For mourning with me.
Have a beautiful day, dear one!
(Listen to Episode 1 here!)